LexiDreams

chamomile filled eyes spinning

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Scars I've Never Named by LexiDreams, literature

Your Heart is an Empty Room by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Your Heart is an Empty Room

Do you know the song Your Heart is an Empty Room? It’s been echoing in my mind for months I used to really love that song I couldn’t have known it would mark another dividing line in my life The way trauma cuts you through to before and after I sent it to you before I knew the truth But I felt something of it Because what I sent Had a quiet touch of angst, not allowed to be spoken Before our wedding God, the growing I had to do God, the fucking irony of how much I knew Without knowing at all And now the notes echo Because of what it always meant to me No longer hidden by the identity of us The empty cavern in my chest sings

You by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

You

You is one of the strongest words in the world Or maybe just in a codependent type two’s brain Is there anything else that brings more comfort? Not him, not her You You means someone to talk to To point my thoughts at To listen and understand Validate my meaning, that I’m here breathing To wrap me up in belonging To run to And list as an emergency contact You Means quality time And a shared life Vast tenderness A rock of support when I am stumbling You tell me I’m worth being here You make my life brighter You care and take in my caring You fix things when I’m hurting People will talk about how they hoped for

Safe Words by LexiDreams, literature

Hurt is a Snake That Eats its Tail by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Hurt is a Snake That Eats its Tail

If you treat me badly It’s because I wasn’t good enough If I did enough You would love me I just need to sacrifice more If I am kind enough You will learn what kindness is If I give you another chance You will know the value of it You don’t have to meet the standards I hold for myself Because your worth doesn’t need proving I listen to you tell me I’m too sensitive and demanding Unreasonable and controlling I try to change my own feelings and preferences I try to change my very perception To be what you want When I was growing up My father always said we were leeches Selfish, greedy leeches He would fly i

Somebody To Share My Every Thought by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Somebody To Share My Every Thought

I miss having somebody to share my every thought There’s something about the belonging of that Of having a best friend Close enough to a soul mate It feels necessary to being human Feeling understood and valued Can be totally myself Don’t have to worry about boring them And they care about every emotion So I sit in this space with no one to tell everything that’s going on in my head No one to share the highs and the lows with The eccentricities and laughter and complaints I’m a self contained coping mechanism Not feeling that connection I feel like I could just float away No one to really understand that I

There is a Wind Warning by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

There is a Wind Warning

Part 1. There is a wind warning It sounds like the ocean at my window The idea makes me feel I'm somewhere exotic and new Makes me feel at home for a second And then my not-at-homeness We've been arguing for three days about dishes A home without you is empty You in this cold, windy place is still comfortable I miss seeing new oceans Head against the car window Mountains that make me feel like I'm in a painting Reminding me of dreams Country roads, stone houses I don't want to poison our relationship I feel like I'm always getting upset about something And it's always the same thing You always make it right I trust that I trust that We

the dead end near a revelation by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

the dead end near a revelation

who am i? the one with a scar along her breast with dirt between her toenails with blue flecks of sea on her fingers the one who smells of jasmine and rot smells of lions roars and rivers drying smells of dust and sweat and week's old clothes (that too, my love, that too) the one feeling rose petal lust in the fat of her chest feeling her own insignificance feeling her purpose ripen and juice and fall into the abyss (that too, my love, that too) the one watching in the mirror the painting of the monster - what goal is there in living as a scar on a body as a fleck of chemical blue on a fingernail as the ring of dirt on- as the pull and

Loving ii. by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Loving ii.

I spent so long not chasing love I didn't realize these dynamics How the images inundating us, How being surrounded by love Makes two strangers looking for something Act in certain ways Hold hands that feel foreign Kiss lips that feel unsure Text strangers like best friends Sleep in the same bed like cohabitants (And build houses with them in our dreams) Kiss goodbye like lovers, Forgive the papercuts And the deeper lacerations Because they seem to like to hold you Like lovers, like lovers As if, if we acted it out enough We'd feel it Two people looking for love, not in love And I guess the question on my mind is Do you know when you know? O

Loving by LexiDreams, literature

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Scars I've Never Named by LexiDreams, literature

Your Heart is an Empty Room by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Your Heart is an Empty Room

You by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

You

Safe Words by LexiDreams, literature

Hurt is a Snake That Eats its Tail by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Hurt is a Snake That Eats its Tail

Somebody To Share My Every Thought by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Somebody To Share My Every Thought

There is a Wind Warning by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

There is a Wind Warning

the dead end near a revelation by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

the dead end near a revelation

Loving ii. by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

Loving ii.

Loving by LexiDreams, literature

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false consciousness / change / reflections of you by LexiDreams, literature

Literature

false consciousness / change / reflections of you

I'm a winged thing gurgling nectar from the nearest source of soft colorful flesh I'm the seagull echoing the sound of the ocean that forced itself into your lover's lungs and breath I'm the sudden slit in your existence, the opening which allows you to bleed, if you (that physical you made of air and tendon) come too close to the world of metal, where caresses cannot be distinguished from your bodily aching and pain I'm the schematic of your wanting, the kind, the beautiful, the lovely, intelligent, wise, happy, loved, talented, knowing, brave I'm your new way of living, the quote sticky in your dendrites, the realization, the epip

false consciousness / change / reflections of you

LexiDreams

About LexiDreams

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Jan 1
Cyprus
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

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My Bio

I'm an amateur photographer/writer who loves browsing through all the amazing works on DA. ~

Personal Quote: If you don't have cracks you're not broken... right?

Favourite Movies

AI, American Beauty, Star Trek, My Summer Of Love, Friends~S5.E09, Pan's Labyrinth

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Regina Spektor

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LexiDreams

Feb 5, 2013

how to tell someone

0 min read

John Green's The Fault In Our Stars: "I'm in love with you," he said quietly. "Augustus," I said. "I am," he said. He was staring at me and I could see the corner of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

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LexiDreams

Jan 5, 2013

bought a new book of poems

0 min read

"You can't get pregnant if it's your first time. You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up, if you don't French kiss, if you pretend you won't let him but just can't stop. You can't get pregnant if you go to the bathroom right after, if you ride a horse bareback, if you jump up and down on one leg, if you lie in the snow til your bum feels numb, if you do it in the shower, if you eat garlic, if you wear a girdle, if it's only your second time. You can't get pregnant if he keeps his socks on, if he's captain of the football team, if he says he loves you, if he comes quickly, if you don't come at all, if it's o

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LexiDreams

May 11, 2012

Poem

0 min read

Without Hands by Lorna Crozier All the machines in the world stop.  The textile machines, the paper machines, the machines in the mines turning stones to fire. Without hands to touch them, spoons, forks and knives forget their names and uses, the baby is not bathed, bread rises on the stove, overflows the bowl. Without hands, the looms stop. The music                            stops. The plums turn sweet and sticky and gather flies. Without hands without those beautiful conjunctions those translators of skin, bone, hair two eyes go blind two pale hounds sniffing ahead and doubling back to tell us of hot and cold or the sil