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About Deviant AlexiaFemale/Cyprus Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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Salt mouth, dry
Trembling, peeling, greasy itch
I slit my skin with the sharp teeth of letters
Because that's what "fucked up" people do
Thoughts turn cloudy, foamy, slick
The branches of my future leading out have rotted
Turn out the lights
Fingers type inkblots
In the dark I am doing chemistry
Wet, I can see the curve of the moon around its fingernail
Going blind
I spill the cups of these letter's hollows
Forgetting their contents were held in my hands
Thoughts lose color, tremble, flick
My muse's mouth summersaults, inverts, says
Take these letters and try to see in the dark
Write yourself into existence, or else
Hold up your dying along the lines, it's scaffolding
Make a house with long Greek pillars
Find some affirmation in staining a white page
Not a home, but a house for others to pass-by and see,
There's a light.
I am rotting flesh,
in pupating bones,
wound around grandmother fish's instructions.

I am pins and needles and cold breasts and the angular pressure of the corners of your hips.

I am sloppy, drooly mouth, dry lips, hazy brain.

I am itch in polyester and vinyl, friction, tension, moving stabbings, vibrating hair raising, itch.

I am fingers on thighs while watching city lights, I am taking from the wishing fountain, counting change, and using
other people's dreams to buy- what?
soda, artificial constellations, critical thinking and compassion.
reflections in ink blots
I guess I feel like posting this one.
When you died you became a thing of love and horror
I cannot contravene one with the other
Touching the materials of our old memories makes me feel unclean
Like I am touching death and evil
But in the guise of something everyday, non-threatening
What are you crazy?
I do not know what to do with this old life
To welcome it back, to make it trash, store it in a box
There is a green binder from school, an old green binder
(How ridiculous it seems from the outside
Stopped in life by the questions it gives)
Is it a sacramental or a taboo?
I do not know, I do not know
I cannot clean it out
The ending of that part in our story is like spilled
black ink
I do not know how to cultivate memories or love
a gone-past thing
I just need help to understand
Is it a sacremental or a taboo?
A dirty bottle of fabric softener coated in traces of you.
I want to be beautiful and light and clean, rain water falling
I want to be beautiful and childish and sweet, god i want to be beautiful
I want to be good for me.

I want you to try to woo me, not lure me
I want the humanity
I want to be beautiful and childish sweet
I want to feel clean and quiet
I want to not hate myself
I want that noise of disappointment
to go away.


I want to not hate me
I want to not be ugly
and crass and bitter
and crass and bitter

I want my sheet music back
the notes I struggled to play


I want to love me
not have this vitriolic hateful jealousy
evil queen
I want to be beautiful and childish and sweet
I want today to be tomorrow?
how can i want such a thing?


i'm sick
but i want to be light
and happy and filled with good things
i want to be beautiful and childish and sweet
i want the will to play the notes as if they were instructions
i want to learn how to learn how to learn to be.

John Green's The Fault In Our Stars:

"I'm in love with you," he said quietly.
"Augustus," I said.
"I am," he said. He was staring at me and I could see the corner of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."


I'm an amateur photographer/writer who loves browsing through all the amazing works on DA. ~:heart:

Personal Quote: If you don't have cracks you're not broken... right?

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midnightrider79 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014
Wishing you a Happy Birthday... :heart: :hug: :party: :cake: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: Airborne Airborne Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: 
nihilistic-hun Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014   Traditional Artist
Have a great birthday.   birthday cake 
fervvent Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the favourite (:
Cecilou-chan Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav :aww:
cllozdemir Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013
thanks :)
o-BlueMoon-o Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you very much for all the faves. I really appreciate it. :aww:
fredasurgenor Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:s very much appreciated.
rici66 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the lot of faves, i'm really glad and I highly appreciate the hours you've spent in my gallery :rose: :D
LexiDreams Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013
Your welcome. :) I was shamefully behind on my deviantwatch list.
rici66 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Me too :D
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