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About Deviant AlexiaFemale/Cyprus Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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He's scarred you,
but he's healed you.
Would you write him off so easily?

He's been your survival but
he's stuck needles in your
heart organ.
Would you write him off so easy?

He's been kind, he's been
kind, you've stayed.
Is that not your answer?

What is happiness to need?

Would you wash
away this blood and
(the surviv)all it connects?

You've pulled down on the stream
Taken your mouthfuls
Would you refuse to give?

Would you block such a flow
now? Your scars twisting along
your veins, form

Would your family of choice
be written by such blood?

When you feel powerless
the only card you feel
you hold is to never forgive.

Will you back out of
your promise?
Do I suck, or do the people in my life suck? Why do my relationships suck?: A memoir.

unfinished. I can't think of a proper title now so it'll take a song name.
I'm hooked up in my room, my brother's hooked up in his
He spends his days in gamer culture, I spend mine in social justice culture
We live most entirely in completely different worlds, even though there's only a wall between us
And sometimes we speak and it's in different languages.

Do you know that feeling where, you're tensed, and you don't even know you're tensed,
Until something happens and you detense, feel the relief,
Is that the constant feeling from you not being here and wanting you to be, a normalization of longing
Of waiting, and I won't even know relief until you're back.

Last year on this day I was scarring your name onto my collar bone so I wouldn't forget you, and now I'm walking through the forest to find an ocean, finding an ocean, collecting clam shells the color of bruises, I step on moss covered rocks and feel I'm pressing on someone's ribcage, and there are pine cones in the trees and yellow flowers, and the culmination of the day is my saying why the hell not and running across the river in my new wet feet.

This month is a series of goals, be kinder, more supportive, listen to the birds, don't forget the sunlight, stop drowning, stop drowning

Spring is here, there are dandelions and cherry blossoms, and it's dark green grass and gold-flicked bugs, and you're trying to do what you think is good for you, even though it hurts.

You never write anymore, you're too busy escaping the world to remake it,

and here, now is when you have to realize that you're not who you wanted to be.
my life in april
I try to edit it to make it less rough but... it's a vignette of time
Salt mouth, dry
Trembling, peeling, greasy itch
I slit my skin with the sharp teeth of letters
Because that's what "fucked up" people do
Thoughts turn cloudy, foamy, slick
The branches of my future leading out have rotted
Turn out the lights
Fingers type inkblots
In the dark I am doing chemistry
Wet, I can see the curve of the moon around its fingernail
Going blind
I spill the cups of these letter's hollows
Forgetting their contents were held in my hands
Thoughts lose color, tremble, flick
My muse's mouth summersaults, inverts, says
Take these letters and try to see in the dark
Write yourself into existence, or else
Hold up your dying along the lines, it's scaffolding
Make a house with long Greek pillars
Find some affirmation in staining a white page
Not a home, but a house for others to pass-by and see,
There's a light.
I am rotting flesh,
in pupating bones,
wound around grandmother fish's instructions.

I am pins and needles and cold breasts and the angular pressure of the corners of your hips.

I am sloppy, drooly mouth, dry lips, hazy brain.

I am itch in polyester and vinyl, friction, tension, moving stabbings, vibrating hair raising, itch.

I am fingers on thighs while watching city lights, I am taking from the wishing fountain, counting change, and using
other people's dreams to buy- what?
soda, artificial constellations, critical thinking and compassion.
reflections in ink blots
I guess I feel like posting this one.
When you died you became a thing of love and horror
I cannot contravene one with the other
Touching the materials of our old memories makes me feel unclean
Like I am touching death and evil
But in the guise of something everyday, non-threatening
What are you crazy?
I do not know what to do with this old life
To welcome it back, to make it trash, store it in a box
There is a green binder from school, an old green binder
(How ridiculous it seems from the outside
Stopped in life by the questions it gives)
Is it a sacramental or a taboo?
I do not know, I do not know
I cannot clean it out
The ending of that part in our story is like spilled
black ink
I do not know how to cultivate memories or love
a gone-past thing
I just need help to understand
Is it a sacremental or a taboo?
A dirty bottle of fabric softener coated in traces of you.
John Green's The Fault In Our Stars:

"I'm in love with you," he said quietly.
"Augustus," I said.
"I am," he said. He was staring at me and I could see the corner of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."


I'm an amateur photographer/writer who loves browsing through all the amazing works on DA. ~:heart:

Personal Quote: If you don't have cracks you're not broken... right?

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midnightrider79 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014
Wishing you a Happy Birthday... :heart: :hug: :party: :cake: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: Airborne Airborne Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn Popcorn :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: :squee: 
nihilistic-hun Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014   Traditional Artist
Have a great birthday.   birthday cake 
fervvent Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the favourite (:
Cecilou-chan Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav :aww:
cllozdemir Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013
thanks :)
o-BlueMoon-o Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Thank you very much for all the faves. I really appreciate it. :aww:
fredasurgenor Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:s very much appreciated.
rici66 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the lot of faves, i'm really glad and I highly appreciate the hours you've spent in my gallery :rose: :D
LexiDreams Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013
Your welcome. :) I was shamefully behind on my deviantwatch list.
rici66 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Me too :D
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